Friday, December 26, 2008

Finding love.Found love.Giving love.Gave love.

FYI, I ve been following kennysia's blog all this while despite the rising hatred towards him due to his personal rumors

I respect him for what he writes and I dont bother who he is or how he behaves.
Thats only for him to judge but not us.

Tho I have met him a couple of times but doesnt mean I know him personally.
It seems that even top blogger like him also needs to rant in his blog.
He somehow "personalized" his blog this time. Read it HERE.

YES.
He broke up.
(tho, I have read it earlier through SamPoh's aka his EX's shoutout in FB.)


Just alil of my reflections after reading his post(words in red are taken from his post),

" Even more ironic was the day after, when her friend texted me to ask "if he can have her". "
I dont bother whether how Kenny feels regarding the breakup,
But he definitely felt for this~

"I thought the longer we spend time together, the better we'd understand each other. "
I personally share the same thought as him for this.
But i can tell the girls dont think its necessary.

"I guess I'm just not the type of person who is suitable to be in a relationship with anyone at this point in time. There are still so many things I want to do, so many goals I want to achieve, so many places I want to travel to before I settle down."
I personally thinks one can achieve a goal/goals better when he/she has someone to support, motivate and love him/her.
Isnt that the purpose of being in a relationship/marriage? yes?no?

"It feels weird being single again Having been in the dating game for 8 years almost consecutively, I kinda forgot how to be single."
It is almost opposite for me. being absent from dating game for almost a year, I kinda forgot how to be "double".
Everything I do doesnt seem to be working well.

"Instead of rushing out of the house to meet her at 9pm, I found myself scratching my head wondering what to do with my free time. Instead of appearing offline on MSN, I found myself chatting and catching up with old friends again, some of whom I haven't spoken to for months."
Again, it is the opposite.
Instead of scratching myhead wondering what to do wif my freetime, I dig out evry second of my day to keep in touch/to meet her up.
Instead of looking for people to chat wif in MSN, I limit myself to her.
This kinda freaks me out.
It looks the same as the route he took;
Holy Jesus,Buddha,Allah, it has gonna be a better ending than that.


Well, SamPoh blogged bout this breakup earlier too.
And here are my reflections (words in pink are taken from her post),

"Very recently he doubted me by questioning if I was after his wealth and fame."
I am not commenting whos right or whos wrong.
But I am never a supporter of materialistic ideology.

I give gifts with my heart not money even if they are purchased.


And heres something which I thought I would only be able to read in fairy tales or watch in hongkong/korean dramas

"To the next person in line(when or if), he likes Japanese cuisine. Gourmet food. Skinny lattes. Ginseng chicken soup. Century egg. Eats only peeled prawns. Doesn't favor eating crab much. Avoid durian hehe. Plus he doesn't dig girls who smoke or pop. Picky indeed! His favorite color is blue :) Hates leggings on girls haha. Apples & bananas are fruits of his choice. Though not orange but drinks its juice. He enjoys... Singapore. Discover the rest later. Take great care of him otherwise I might be deeply saddened for letting him fall into the wrong hands. "


Dammit. Hella sweet and sour.
It was sure to be painful when Kenny read that
but it sure did melt his heart for seconds tsk tsk.

I doubt i could make such a list,
I can be observant but I am forgetful,

so I need a Notepad file always. XD

And I respect sam's generosity in letting go.

maybe thats what people say huh,

"If you love something, set it free"
Still...
I aint that kinda person who can let go easily
(unless I am triggered to)


Well....
Humans,
just couldnt escape from relationship problems.

Be it single or double
or even triple.

Single
,

loneliness is what they complain.

Double
,

two different backgrounds.
two different personalities.
two different hearts.
two different sets of thoughts.
two different ways of living.
two, individuals;

much challenging than being single.
It takes weeks for you to adapt to single life.

but it takes years or even forever to adapt to "double" life.

In fact, you just shouldn't stop yourself from adapting when you are un-single-fied.
You,
change as time goes by.
Your partner,
changes too as time goes by.
Be it good or bad.

Its always something mutual.
It has to be mutual.
Yin and Yang.



For once, I am strongly against Kenny's viewpoint.

"It was not that we didn't try to make things work. I tried. We both tried."
Tried?keep trying.
Tried?how much effort was put in?
Tried?was it one-sided or mutually?
If its one-sided, forget it.

"Ultimately, we are two different people, with drastically different lifestyles, different ideals, different philosophies, different aims in life.
But as the old saying goes, easier to move a mountain than to change a person"
You dont have to change, neither your partner has to.
You just adapt.

Change,
is somehow..
a BIG word.

"Never say you do not love a person anymore if you cannot let go. Love is not about giving up. Devil and Angel only comes by a thin line of differentiation ... if you can , take both sides"

If it still wouldnt work, believe in faith.
"Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back"

If he/she doesnt,
"Don't waste your time on a man or woman who isn't willing to waste their time on you ."



-♥
ing rie-

6 comments:

candicechong said...

i heart this post!!!
^_^

Autumn Babe said...

hey. i read about his breakup as well.

1. yes, i feel for him too regarding the text message.

2.i don't know if some guys actually come across the same thing, but yes, i personally think that spending more time together does not mean you will totally understand each other. even people who couple for years also will face the risk of breaking up with the reason, "it seems like i still don't understand my own partner after years".

3.i agree with your thought of supporting each other in achiving goals. in my opinion, it is not that kenny is not ready in a relationship now, it is just that he has not found someone who can truly support him and do all those things together with him.

4.i almost did the same thing like him last time when i broke up. catching up with some of my female friends and long lost friends. and of course, u will have the opposite situation since you are now in the relationship and he is not. =_="

5. again, i agree with you that change seems to be a big word. and yes, adapting is a better word. but out of sudden, i am wondering that of course there might be certain things are best to be changed and there are certain things are best to be adapted. this is when the quote comes in, "it depends".

CarrieChungie said...

Damn. I can never write longer than that can I? Haha. -Missing B-

Ruionkoh said...

candice,
Thanks:)Its just some of my thoughts.


Mich,
Guess the female's spending-time-together-is-not-important concept is accurate tsk tsk.
well, those problems are kenny's and not mine(at least im glad they are not mine),I just did some reflections on my own.tats it :)
True enough, it depends, but its not easy to determine the borders tho.tsk


Mybabyrie,
Haha baby surely can, in ur dreams because most of the time baby meet rui in your dream.piggyrie!haha huggggggs

Well, dun rush bie, like you said, it takes time XD
*missing you very the much too bie T.T*

Regards,
rui

quixiotically__yours said...

On your note on adapting... I believe there is only so much a person can adapt. Different upbringings and life events can and will influence the way you think. Yes it can be changed, but it is quite difficult.

Think about it, how much of yourself are you willing to compromise to make a relationship work? A relationship you're not going to be happy about pretending to be something you're not. That type of relationship cannot be worth it. I agree with Kenny, in fact that a person is something very difficult to change.

And as a relationship grows, so do people. People mature and have new experiences that may alter their own perception on life, hence leading to a clash in values/attitudes. I think they've made a mature decision knowing full well that they are not working to let it go whilst doing it in a civil nature.


And just with that quote about his needs for goals, I agree with him. Hard to explain, but sometimes it's best when somethings are done individually... learnt by yourself. Because really if you don't know who you are without your significant other, haven't you lost a part of yourself too? Just a cautious warning to others not to drown yourself in your gf/bf.... because once you make them your everything... if you break up... what do you have left? Of course it is great having someone support you, I'm just saying you should get to know yourself first fully before you commit.

Everyone says no its not going to happen to me .. we're so in love... But I've seen it happen way too many times... people invest themselves too much in relationships and forget about friends and after it they are left with no one.

BTW TO THE FRIEND THAT TEXTED HIM
YOU DOUCHEBAG.... could you get any more lower?
get some class =|

just my two cents =D

Anonymous said...

"It was not that we didn't try to make things work. I tried. We both tried."
Tried?keep trying.
Tried?how much effort was put in?
Tried?was it one-sided or mutually?
If its one-sided, forget it.


wht if both party tried for about 3 years and still didnt work out? is 3 years long enuf?